Perks of Being an Airline Pilot

• All the peanuts and soda you want! (or water in my case)



• You know your bag made it on the flight.



• The view from your office window can’t be beat!



• Lots of time to read while commuting to work (I’ve read 20+ books this year).



• Plenty of free shampoo, conditioner and soap from the hotels (not to mention mouthwash, shower caps and sewing kits).



• I never have to worry about what I’ll wear to work.



• Free reading material—whatever the passengers or other pilots left on the airplane.



• Virtually free travel nearly anywhere—as long as there are empty seats.

Our Best Weekend Trip Ever

Ever since I first heard about Legoland in Denmark when I was a kid I wanted to go. After all, what toy is cooler than Legos?

Well, a trip to Denmark was pretty much out of the question. And as I grew older the desire waned somewhat, but I always loved Legos.

Then in 1999 the Lego company opened a Legoland in Carlsbad California. Annette and I had no immediate plans to go, but as our family grew, Dinohunter had inherited most of my Legos and everyone loved to play with them. As each year passed we talked more and more seriously about going. Finally, last year we decided to save up to go in 2008. Our original intent was to go during the summer, but Dinohunter’s trip to Palestine along with trips to Florida and Missouri made that complicated. The trip was delayed to the Fall, but October looked promising, since the kids would be out of school on Thursday the 16th and Friday the 17th. I was able to arrange to have those days off and it looked like everything would work out.

Finally the 16th arrived. I had arrived at 1:00AM the night /morning before coming back from work in Atlanta. Our plan was to catch the 8:50AM flight to Los Angeles. It was a good plan. Unfortunately, it seemed that everyone else had the same plan, and since we only fly free if there’s an empty seat, after arriving at the airport it quickly became apparent that air travel was not going to happen. On to Plan B—drive.

The problem with driving is A) our Dodge Caravan only seats seven and, well, we are a family of seven plus one, and B) a twelve-hour drive is a sure-fire way to make sure we become a family of seven, or six even. Originally the Caravan had a built-in VCR, but a couple of years ago it stopped working. If we were going to drive we would need entertainment. We stopped by Wal-Mart and picked up an inexpensive DVD player. Once back home I soon realized that I would need to adapt the player to 12 volt current, but had no adapter. Naturally my Dad saved the day. He had one and so we met up with him and jerry-rigged our new entertainment system. Now we dared make the drive.

The kids were very well behaved. Between DVDs and Nintendo DSs they kept busy. We stopped for dinner in St. George and walked around the temple. Another highlight was driving down the Las Vegas Strip after dark. The kids were blown away with Treasure Island, New York New York, the Venetian, Luxor, and all the rest. Finally at about 2:30 in the morning we pulled into our hotel’s parking lot and checked in.

The next morning we were up by 8:30 and arrived at the park just after it opened at 10:00AM. The park is mostly geared to younger children but has a couple of rides for the older kids. But for those who love Legos, it’s all fun. The only one who was left out at all was Jack-Jack, since he was too short for several of the rides. One that everyone enjoyed is called the Knight’s Tournament. I’ve never seen anything quite like it. Essentially it’s a mechanical arm that turns you upside down and throws you from side to side. It was very intense. I rode with Red Pepper and she asked why I was laughing the whole time. It was fun. Even Mr. Tickle got to ride it with his Mom, since each arm can be programmed to one of five different settings, five being the most intense. Mr. Tickle got a one, but he got to go. And once again, Jack-Jack got to watch.

For me the highlight was Miniland USA, where different parts of the country are modeled in Legos. My favorite was San Francisco, but there was also New York City, New Orleans, Las Vegas, and several other places. The detail was amazing.

The visit concluded with a stop in the Lego Store, where everyone bought something. Annette and I bought the obligatory Christmas tree ornament and refrigerator magnet. Other things purchased included key-chains made with mini-Lego figures, salt and pepper shakers and cake molds, as well as an actual set or two.

After leaving the park we made a beeline for the beach, only a half-mile away. Everyone took their shoes off and discovered that the Pacific Ocean is quite a bit colder than the Gulf of Mexico. Still we had fun as the sun set over the water. Then we stopped for dinner at In-N-Out Burger, a Southern California institution. The shakes were great!

Everyone slept well that night, as you can imagine. The next morning we took our time getting up and checking out. We stopped to visit old friends, the Rowleys, for lunch as we passed through Redlands. Finally we arrived home at 2:30AM and put everyone to bed.

And at 4:00AM I got back up to catch a plane to go back to work. It was a whirlwind, but it was fun!

Friends Forever

Thirty-four years ago I was a kindergartner with the most wonderful teacher in the world (aren’t all kindergarten teachers?), Miss Harps. That year I also made many new friends, some of whom I continued with all the way through our senior year of high school. We weren’t always close, but we always retained that tie of having been in Miss Harps’ class. Last year I attended my twentieth high school reunion and sure enough, those of us who had been in Miss Harps’ class found each other. Even though we hadn’t seen each other in twenty years, I was amazed that what bound us together was not the fact that we graduated together, but that we knew each other in kindergarten.

Small Miracles

Two years ago my parents, convinced that it was time for me to get a new car, arranged for me to acquire a ’96 Cadillac. As a financial planner, they reasoned, I should drive a more upscale car than the ’91 Ford Crown Victoria I had. The terms were excellent, and it was a great car.

Now I all I had to do was to sell the Crown Vic. It had a few issues given that it was fifteen years old, high mileage and the wear and tear that comes with it. I wanted to avoid pouring a lot of money into it. The main thing I wanted to accomplish was to refurbish the vinyl top, which had started to fade and crack. Being the brilliant individual that I am, I decided to use crazy glue to fill the cracks and then paint it over. Unfortunately the crazy glue didn’t fill the crack but just sealed it. Good, but not good enough. Then I had a better idea: Shoe Goo! It did manage to fill in the holes. . . and then some. It was a mess, and now I had to peel it off.

To add to the problems the car no longer ran very well. Whether this was a simple factor of sitting for an extended period or needing fresh gas or something more serious, now I had an additional project. I discovered this when I needed to replace a tire for my Cadillac and so drove my now un-registered and un-licensed Crown Vic to the tire store. Not only did it lurch, but, yes, you guessed it, I got pulled over and ticketed.

As time passed there was less and less of it to spend on fixing the car. First I increased the hours I was giving flight instruction and then last year of course I started working at ASA and was limited to 11 days off a month. The Crown Vic sat in my garage for fear that more exposure would worsen the vinyl while my Cadillac sat in the driveway. I kept meaning to get to it, but other projects kept diverting my attention.

Finally this past week I actually had five consecutive days off. By this time the car wouldn’t even start—the battery had corroded. My goal was now just to get it started and take it to a mechanic to see what needed to be done so I could at least advertise it as running well. I cleaned the battery cable and post and after charging the battery and getting a jump I finally succeeded in starting the car. With my wife following me we first filled the tires and then proceeded to the repair shop.

After explaining my purpose one of the mechanics offered to buy it as is for a fair price. No fuss no muss. No more time and money spent. I may have lost a couple of hundred dollars by not doing it myself, but it was worth it. Or I may have come out just fine. After all, I was nearing the point of taking it to the recycler just to get it out of the garage.

This was a real blessing. Sometimes miracles are small and not so flashy, but important and real just the same.

It Beats Working For a Living

In two more days I will have completed my first year with Atlantic Southeast Airlines. This is an important milestone in at least a couple of regards. First and foremost, during the first year the airline can terminate your employment without cause. Arriving late for an assignment is sufficient cause. So is your shirt coming untucked. Fortunately ASA is not known for its draconian behavior, but there is one area where I feel a bit exposed—commuting. Generally the last day of a reserve assignment I am on call until 9:00PM and the last flight home leaves at 8:55. So I fudge and leave early. Sometimes when feeling brave I have left on the 6:30 flight. It’s a calculated risk given that there is virtually no assignment the airline could give me and get me back in time for my day off, so the chances of it backfiring are slim. Nevertheless, I almost always check my cell phone upon landing with a hint of fear that Scheduling called while enroute. Chances are I would have to meet with a Chief Pilot who would give me a tongue lashing but likely nothing worse. Hopefully. But like I said, if the airline felt so inclined, it would be more than enough to fire me. But once a pilot has completed a year he or she then has union protection and it is much much much harder to fire them. I will still be nervous when commuting home if I leave a little early, but I won’t fear for my job. My stress level will go down a notch.

The second big deal about the year mark is the pay raise. First year first officers don’t make very much. If you are interested in knowing just how much you can click here. Every little bit helps, and it’s nice to have made it through the most difficult stage. Pilot pay raises come according to years of service—each year your pay goes up. The biggest jump is after the first year, then it grows much slower. The next real jump will come when I upgrade to captain. And when will that be? Given how the whole industry has slowed down, probably not for another five years. Sooner would be nice, but it’s not something to expect. The only ways to speed up that process are for the airline to grow or for senior pilots to leave, whether for retirement or to other airlines. Naturally we pilots hang on every rumor of growth, but it doesn’t take long to recognize that the rumors are almost always nothing more than just that.

Overall it has been a good year. The only real negative is that I am still on reserve, meaning I still do not have a regular route and schedule and so fly only when someone else doesn’t show. That’s why I have now sat in my crash pad in Atlanta for the last three days without going anywhere. I still have three more days before I go home again. Usually I’m here for four or five days at a time, but I’m here for six this time around because I was able to more around some off days so that next week I will have five days off in a row. That will be very nice. Again, the process of “holding a line” or regular schedule is a question of movement upward in seniority. Right now it’s pretty slow, but I expect that by late Spring I should finally have a line. That also comes with at least one more day off per month.

On the plus side I fly a jet airplane and they pay me to do it. I have visited Mexico and Canada plus many cities in the eastern U.S., not all particularly glamorous but good people live in them all. As my Dad, a retired United pilot, used to say, “It sure beats working for a living.”

Exercise

When I started training as a pilot last year I could see by looking at the pilots I knew that it isn’t the healthiest lifestyle. For obvious reasons it involves a lot of sitting as well as eating out. While hardly “overweight” (I’ve always been skinny) I was not in my best shape and was starting to develop a bit of a belly. Given that my wife likes me skinny, it was important for me to establish some basic habits early in my new career.

Back in high school I ran cross-country and track and have always “enjoyed” running. I put that in parentheses because it’s not as if I can’t wait to jump out the door and sprint. But I do like changing scenery and it’s something I’ve done with my family since I was a kid.

So I started running. After a few times I found a route about two miles long and that worked. I also threw in some push-ups and sit-ups. After a couple of months I had lost ten pounds and instead of my pants being too tight now I had to worry about them being too loose. Part of it was definitely the exercise, and part was eating less. Frozen dinners (no, not TV dinners—I do have standards) are only so big and don’t allow for second helpings, so that helped to limit my calorie intake. All in all I looked and felt better than I had in a couple of years or more.

Meanwhile my wife has been going to 24 Hour Fitness and so she added me to her pas as a “VIP,” meaning as long as I accompanied her it only cost another $15 per month. We try and go every week together so I get a little bit of weights, etc.

Now that I’m out of training I run around my “crash pad” apartment and around the hotels I stay at when I’m on the road. I still do push-ups regularly, but sit-ups fell by the wayside because they always strained my back.

Then yesterday I googled “abdominal exercise” and found out that the very best exercise also requires no equipment. Good, because I wasn’t going to buy any. It’s called the “bicycle crunch,” something you may all be aware of but new to me. Not radically new, but new. And it doesn’t strain my back but does work my abs hard. So I’m happy and have re-committed myself to doing a set or two every day. I can spare 10 minutes.

Did I mention my wife likes me skinny? She’s a great motivator, in all the right ways.

Something To Think About

Sometimes a film comes along that not only entertains you but also makes you think. A lot. The Dark Knight is just such a film.

First of all, I am a semi-reformed former comics geek. While I didn’t regularly collect Batman comics, there were certain series, notably Frank Miller’s dark and stylized Dark Knight Returns and gritty Batman: Year One work, that mesmerized and enthralled me. So for me the ultimate Batman is the one played straight, that shows the ethical and moral dilemmas inherent in combating evil and the choices with their natural consequences. Fortunately for me, director Christopher Nolan has a similar vision of the Batman.

After seeing the film the most striking thing was the late Heath Ledger’s portrayal of the Joker. Nothing new here. If he doesn’t win an Oscar for best actor this year then a serious miscarriage of justice will have occurred. But as excellent as the performance was, it is how the character was written that allows Ledger’s portrayal to say something deep and meaningful.

The Joker is the personification of chaos and anarchy, and for that reason is perhaps the best cinematic representation of Satan I have ever seen. To him, only disorder has meaning. “You have all these rules and you think they'll save you. . . . The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules!” We learn no origin, as whenever he reveals something about himself it is a lie. “Nothing. No matches on prints, DNA, dental. Clothing is custom, no labels. Nothing in his pockets but knives and lint. No name, no other alias.” Not knowing anything, we cannot empathize with him. He just is. And what he is is blood and horror. As Alfred, Bruce Wayne’s butler, describes him, “Some men just want to watch the world burn.”



Another aspect of Satan’s character embodied in the Joker (as pointed out to me by my wife) is his desire to “deceive the very elect.” The Joker turns Harvey Dent from an incorruptible champion of the law and order inherent in civilization into an agent of personal vengeance and destruction. He brags, “I took Gotham's white knight, and brought him down to our level. It wasn't hard. Y'see, madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is a little...push.” No one is immune to the conceit that the rules, which create and build community, don't apply to them personally. “You thought we could be decent men in an indecent time,” Two-Face bemoans. “But you were wrong. The world is cruel, and the only morality in a cruel world is chance.” One man decides that his will trumps the greater whole.

Interestingly, in society today and throughout history certain individuals and groups try to redefine those rules to let anarchy back in, believing that they act in the name of liberty. Liberty is not synonymous with anarchy, but when society normalizes behaviors and activities that strike at the very order that strengthens the community, it becomes the enemy of order. And where order breaks down, chaos ensues.

The Batman, on the other hand, is the polar opposite of the Joker. He is human. He doubts himself. The terror the Joker has unleashed strikes him to the very core. Nevertheless, he stays true to his moral compass. Ultimately the difference between civilization and anarchy is a set of mutually recognized and respected rules. The Joker has none, Two-Face gives his up, but the Batman stays true. Moreover, for the good of Gotham City the Batman takes upon himself the sins of another to further Dent’s work as District Attorney (See Leviticus 16:20-22). In Commissioner Gordon’s words, “[H]e's the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now...and so we'll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he's not a hero. He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector...a dark knight.”

Lots to think about. Dark and disturbing, but in the end hopeful. I don’t know that this movie is one that I’ll watch again and again, but its message will stay with me for a long time to come.