There’s a well-known saying: “A lesson best learned is learned the hard way.” But few know the rest of the saying: “But for a fool, it’s the only way.”
The best way to learn a lesson is not from our own experience, but from others’. One thing I love about reading fiction is the ability to gain insights into human nature from a different perspective. When well-written, we see things that we may otherwise be blind to in our own lives.
Several months ago I finished the last book in Dean Hughes' Hearts of the Children series. The main characters are cousins growing up in Utah and Germany during the turbulent ‘60’s and early ‘70’s. Separately and together they experience the Civil Rights struggles, the Vietnam War, Watergate, marriage, spousal abuse, divorce and imprisonment. Along the way they make choices, some right and some wrong, and learn about themselves, their faith and life.
If there was one theme I found repeated over and over throughout the books it was how often a character couldn’t see something that seemed so painfully obvious. Gene, who is wounded both body and soul in Vietnam, is unable to turn to his veteran father for help. Kathy, so committed to making a difference while serving in the Peace Corps, can’t see that her earnestness reinforces the very barriers she is trying to break down.
In reading their stories I recognized just how frequently I do the same thing. Closing the book, I resolved to do better to seek out others’ advice and really listen. Too often I think I have already thought things through, that I already know all the angles. And too often I’m wrong. Being a little (or a lot) humbler, actively looking for advice and listening allows me to learn from others experience. I don’t want to be any more foolish than I have to be.
The best way to learn a lesson is not from our own experience, but from others’. One thing I love about reading fiction is the ability to gain insights into human nature from a different perspective. When well-written, we see things that we may otherwise be blind to in our own lives.
Several months ago I finished the last book in Dean Hughes' Hearts of the Children series. The main characters are cousins growing up in Utah and Germany during the turbulent ‘60’s and early ‘70’s. Separately and together they experience the Civil Rights struggles, the Vietnam War, Watergate, marriage, spousal abuse, divorce and imprisonment. Along the way they make choices, some right and some wrong, and learn about themselves, their faith and life.
If there was one theme I found repeated over and over throughout the books it was how often a character couldn’t see something that seemed so painfully obvious. Gene, who is wounded both body and soul in Vietnam, is unable to turn to his veteran father for help. Kathy, so committed to making a difference while serving in the Peace Corps, can’t see that her earnestness reinforces the very barriers she is trying to break down.
In reading their stories I recognized just how frequently I do the same thing. Closing the book, I resolved to do better to seek out others’ advice and really listen. Too often I think I have already thought things through, that I already know all the angles. And too often I’m wrong. Being a little (or a lot) humbler, actively looking for advice and listening allows me to learn from others experience. I don’t want to be any more foolish than I have to be.
1 comment:
It's all about examples, good and bad.
Often when I'm frustrated over something, I'll think that "I've tried everything and nothing works", when the truth is more like,"I'm just tired of trying. Can't this be easier." Like in my parenting, I know there are better ways of doing things, but I get too discouraged, overwhelmed, or stubborn to try.
But then I'll hear of or see someone with the exact same problem who worked it out. Once I see that something CAN work, discouragement is replaced by hope. Some of my best parenting and managment skills came from seeing or hearing about others being successful at it first.
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